Best Psychology Self Help Books for New Zealanders
Update: If you order these books from Fishpond, I recommend you call them to check the book is actually in stock. Fishpond have good prices but I’ve had a couple of people mention that they have ordered from Fishpond and then later been told the book was out of stock.
Categories are:
- Parenting
- Happiness/How to Be Happier
- Depression & Anxiety
- Eating & Weight (Including Binge Eating and Bulimia)
- Couple Relationships (How unhappy couples can become happy and how already happy couples can become happier).
Parenting
Every Parent: A Guide to Constructive Parenting
Why its great:
A very good general guide for “every parent” who has children under 10.
Helpful for managing children’s behaviour and having a good relationship with your child.
Unlike most parenting books that are written for “average children” this book is also suitable for parents of children with difficulties like ADHD or anxiety.
Very helpful for when the child’s behaviour is getting in the way of the parent liking their child – tips for how the parent and child can have a more positive relationship with each other.
Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-by-step Guide for Parents
Happiness/How to Be Happier
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
This book has lots of practical strategies. Its useful for people with depression or anxiety, or for anyone who wants to learn how to deal with negative feelings in new ways.
Depression and Anxiety
Mind Over Mood: Cognitive Treatment Therapy Manual for Clients
Why its great:
I use this book with most of the clients I see for depression, low self esteem, and/or anxiety.
Its excellent.
Eating
Excellent self help book for stopping binge eating/Bulimia.
The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person
Why its great:
This book is not like any other diet book I’ve ever seen.
The author is a very well known and respected expert psychologist.
The book is very practical.
You can use the book to stick to any eating plan of your own choosing – it doesn’t specify a particular diet you need to follow but rather gives you the psychological skills to stick to whatever diet you’ve chosen.
Would really love everyone who has long struggled with their weight to have the opportunity to read a copy of this book.
Couple Relationships
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Why its great:
Many psychologists consider this the best relationship self help book.
Even if your relationship is happy the information in this book is likely to help you make it even better.
My favorite chapters are the chapters on “The Four Horsemen” (which are the four communication behaviors that are the most toxic to relationships) and “How to Solve Gridlock Problems” (problems that keep repeating and never get solved).
Its an American book and the example couples described in it are a bit stereotypical but very easy to relate to.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Why its great:
This book is based on a type of couples therapy called Emotion Focused Therapy, which studies show is a very effective type of couples therapy.
The author of the book is one of the two co-founders of Emotion Focused Therapy, so she is most definitely an expert.
I don’t particularly like her writing style – its a bit wordy. But if you can get past this, the information is golden.
Excellent, even for couples who feel like they’ve lost the love in their relationship.
This is an aha moment type of book.
Like the Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, this is another book that will help make happy relationships even happier, in addition to helping unhappy couples.
Relationships self help based on a therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). From the same author as the Happiness Trap. Very practical.
Why its great:
This is another great book for couples who have the same arguments over and over.
Authors are two of the world’s most famous couple’s therapists.
Contains lots of practical exercises.
Is based on a therapy called Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy (IBCT).
IBCT recognizes that deliberately trying to change your partner’s behaviour often doesn’t work and relationship happiness requires additional strategies, which are explained in the book.
Why its great:
This book is best for couples in which one or both partners has strong emotions.
Good for couples who argue alot.
A General Word About Self Help
Self help books aren’t generally very effective for helping people overcome their problems when used on their own. Its too difficult for people to see their own blindspots. People need help to understand how to apply the information in the books to their specific problems.
However, therapy with a psychologist is a very collaborative process and I almost never do therapy without asking clients to read specific self help material so they have the background knowledge they need to better understand how to help themselves. Its not necessary to read the material prior to coming to therapy. When clients do some reading between sessions it tends to make the therapy sessions much more effective and efficient.
Self help books can also be very useful for helping you decide what you want to work on in therapy.
