By aliceboyes

How to Tim Ferriss Your Relationship: The 5-Hour Relationship

Tim Ferriss is famous for writing two bestselling books – The 4-Hour Workweek and The 4-Hour Body. I keep hearing him get asked in interviews if his next book is going to be “The 4-Hour Relationship.” My thought in response each time is – John Gottman one of the world’s most famous relationships scientists already...

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By aliceboyes

How To Change Negative Core Beliefs: A Straightforward Guide to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

The most common core beliefs I help people change tend to fall into the following 3 categories. These core beliefs commonly underlie depression and anxiety. Helpless Core Beliefs such as: “I’m incompetent” “I’m needy” “I’m weak” “I’m defective, I don’t measure up” “I’m a failure” Unlovable Core Beliefs such as: “I’m unlovable” “I’m different” “I’m...

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By aliceboyes

Willpower Tips, Day 20 – Heart Rate Variability. There's an app for that.

Heart Rate Variability refers to the natural pattern of your pulse being faster when you breathe in and slower when you breath out, because the parasympathetic nervous system acts like a brake during your out breaths. High Resting Heart Rate Variability signals that your system is getting good input from both the parasympathetic and sympathetic...

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By aliceboyes

Willpower Tips Day 19 of 21. My Procrastination Experiment. (Cognitive Psychology)

While I’ve been writing this series of Willpower tips, I’ve been paying attention to the thoughts that contribute to when I end up doing lower priority tasks when I could be doing higher priority tasks. I discovered that 2 thoughts distortions seem to account for most the the incidents. Thought Distortion 1. “I’ve got so...

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By aliceboyes

Willpower Tips, Day 18. Yoga for Willpower.

Meditation is great for boosting your parasympathetic nervous system, which in turn will help you with self regulation. Yoga is basically meditation with movement. If it hasn’t appealed to you previously, it might just be a matter of finding a type you like. The kind I like is called Yin Yoga (by this I mean...

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By aliceboyes

CBT Technique: Binge Eating Example. Mental Contrasting + Implementation Intentions. (Willpower Tips, Day 17 of 21).

This is a technique I use with clients for diverse problems from binge eating to procrastination. I thought I’d provide a (fictional) example. The example is about binge eating. The client is asked to write answers to the following questions. Step 1. Most important wish that should be both challenging and feasible. Not binge. Let’s...

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By aliceboyes

Willpower Tips, Day 16. How to Finally Take Advice You've Heard A Million Times Before.

How to Finally Take Advice You’ve Heard A Million Times Before. For me, the answer to this question is to a) bring a specific study to mind. Ideally I like a study with pictures (either a graph, or better yet a before and after brain scan). A Graph about Doing 5 Minutes of Green Exercise...

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By aliceboyes

Activating Your "Prepare and Plan" Response – Willpower Tips Day 15 (of 21)

You might’ve heard of the Fight/Flight/Freeze Response. You probably haven’t heard of the “Prepare and Plan” Response. Like the Fight/Flight/Freeze Response, the Prepare and Plan Response is an inbuilt response we all come equipped with thanks to evolution. Whereas the Fight/Flight/Freeze Response is about reacting quickly in the face of possible immediate danger, the Prepare...

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By aliceboyes

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Model of Perfectionism – Willpower Strategies Day 14.

Perfectionism is not the same thing as conscientiousness. For example, in a recent study of older adults, perfectionism was both associated with increased risk of mortality whereas conscientiousness was associated with decreased risk of mortality (Fry & Debats, 2009). Perfectionism often results in avoidant coping – leading to people being less contentiousness! Perfectionism is not...

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By aliceboyes

Willpower Strategies – Day 13. How to Tolerate Uncomfortable Inner Experiences (Thoughts, Cravings, Physical Sensations, Emotions) Without Avoiding

Did you know that how long a person is willing to hold their breath for predicts how long they will persist with trying to give up smoking? People often give up on a Willpower Goal to get rid of an uncomfortable inner experience (a thought, a craving, a physical sensation etc.). Training your ability to...

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