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Low Self Esteem Test – Take the Rosenberg Low Self Esteem Test Free Online

The low self esteem test that is most widely used by researchers is the Rosenberg Low Self Esteem Test. Take Rosenberg Self Esteem Inventory free.

The low self esteem test will auto score for you. If you score 15-25 this suggests you are in the normal self esteem range. If you score below 15, this suggests low self-esteem.

Why I Suggest You DON’T Take The Low Self Esteem Test

As an alternative to taking the low self esteem test, I suggest you take this self-compassion test. Self compassion matters more for optimal outcomes (like being happy and successful) than self-esteem does. People with self compassion are more able to persist with important goals when they experience setbacks and are less defensive. For example, you can learn how to have a sense of self worth even when you are not “better than average” at everything important, all the time.

Another reason you should probably be more interested in self compassion than self esteem is because programs to increase self esteem have generally been spectacular failures. However, programs to increase self compassion are showing promise. You can successfully increase your self compassion if you are low in self-compassion, but psychology PhDs have generally not found good ways to improve low self esteem.

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Positive Body Image

Practical tips for Positive Body Imagepositive body imageI was interviewed for Next Magazine about Positive Body Image, and these are my positive body image tips. The following positive body image tips come from a therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT.

Positive Body Image Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – How to feel better about yourself and improve your body image

1. Mirror Exposure

Stand in front of a full length mirror and describe your body as if you were describing it to a blind person. Don’t say what’s good or bad – and don’t skip over the parts you dislike. In this way you’re counteracting the evaluative tendency and just practicing describing what you see rather than evaluating it. Repeat this.

2. Situation exposure

Make a list of things that frighten you when it comes to body image on a scale from one to 100, with 100 being the worst. It might be wearing tank tops to show off your arms, or going running in shorts along a busy road. Try to put things in five-point increments. Then practice doing that thing until on your scale it is half as anxiety-provoing as it once was. We know from research studies that exposure techniques are really good for changing thoughts, Dr Boyes says.

3. Weigh yourself right

For those who avoid weighing themselves or go through stages of weighing themselves all the time — put some structure into when you do this. Weigh yourself once aweek, and instead of judging each measurement, take the average of the past three weights. Also mark your cycle, as you can go up around your period. “Weight is not a perfect measure, but body image perceptions are so psychologically based, and they can feel good one day and bad the next. Having an objective measure is really helpful,” Dr Boyes says.

4. Experiment

If your dietary routine is ruling your life, experiment with forbidden food. Make a list of those foods that you only eat in the context of a binge and those which are really scary. Then try to eat them normally. “There are two types of restricting: one is physiological restriction (restricting calories) and the other is psychological restriction,” Dr Boyes says. “If you had a rule that you’re only allowed to eat orange food, you’d develop a binge craving for any food that wasn’t orange. So whenever we put a psychological restriction in it creates risk of bingeing.”

5. Plan

It you are erratic in your eating habits, start planning the times you’re going to eat — and aim for at least once every four hours. It’s important to get out of that cycle of under eating and overeating – and saying “I’ll start the diet on Monday so it’s okay if I eat a family bag of chips now.” Dr Boyes says. “Getting off that cycle helps with body image a lot.”

6. Self-esteem pie chart

Make two pie charts. In one put your current sources of self-esteem and in the other out your ideal sources of self-esteem. “Someone with an eating disorder might say 80% of their self-esteem is around their ability to control or not control their eating — and that crowds out the room for everything else,” Dr Boyes says, “And then we do the ideal, the person makes room for things like being a good friend, being environmentally conscious or being a good musician. Recognizing more diverse forms of self-esteem is really good.”

Click here to view a screencast demo of how to do the self-esteem pie chart (free).

photo credit: Unfurled via photopin cc

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Improve Your Relationship in 30 Seconds a Day

Improve your relationship in 30 Seconds a Day

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Socially Awkward Situations – The Psychology of Avoiding Awkwardness

Sometimes when people use avoidant coping it’s for the purposes of avoiding heavy duty emotions, however it’s also very common for people to use avoidant coping to avoid milder emotions like awkwardness.

I very frequently see people choosing not to enact their personal values to avoid feeling temporarily awkward.

The DIY Psychological Challenge for this post is for you to try to notice if/when you do this.

Let’s say you have personal values like,

- communicating clearly
- being fair to yourself and other people
- being friendly
- being open
- putting yourself in the pathway of new experiences
- taking appropriate personal responsibility

Notice if there are times when you choose to not enact particular personal values because you don’t want to tolerate feeling awkward.

You might have difficulty tolerating feeling awkward yourself +/- tolerating when someone else is feeling awkward.

Try to identify specifically which particular values you’re not enacting when you’re avoiding feeling awkward.

This will give you information and ideas about alternative ways to approach the situation that would reflect your values.

Identify the psychological costs to you of not enacting your values, which will depend on the specific situation.

For example,

- avoiding awkwardness becomes a habit and NOT avoiding it becomes harder over time
- problems snowball
- you miss out on potentially interesting experiences
- other people develop an impression of you that doesn’t reflect your values (e.g. that you’re unfriendly or unapproachable)
- in avoiding awkwardness you’re unfair to someone else and then end up feeling a sense of guilt and shame about it
- in avoiding awkwardness you’re unfair to yourself and end up creating far greater anxiety in the long run than if you’d tolerated the awkwardness
- you miss out on opportunities to practice the skills of enacting a particular value (e.g. communicating clearly) and therefore miss out on the opportunity to develop that skill to a higher level

Notice that avoiding awkwardness is a problem when it means you’re not enacting your values. If you keep the concept of enacting your values in mind, you should be able to approach difficult communication situations more clearly, quickly and with the big picture in mind.

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30 Ideas for Simple 30-Day Projects

This is a new item I’m selling. Click here to view some feedback I got from a purchaser (linked to with their permission).

It’s a pdf – 30 Ideas for Simple 30-Day Projects.

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