Often we do the things we do because of hidden payoffs. What’s a hidden payoff of worrying? Worrying protects us from having to do problem solving. Think about it…. If I said “Would you prefer to spend the next 10 minutes worrying about something you commonly worry about? e.g. your weight. Or Would you prefer...Read More →
The idea of “batching” tasks to streamline your workflow isn’t new, but I thought I’d share a couple of very quick examples of how I actually use this. These are related to finances, but aren’t TOO personal. Batching isn’t something that needs to be applied perfectionistically – you can batch any components of a task...Read More →
I made a free download people can use for prioritizing tasks. You can view it online here. To download it so you can use it however you please, click the link above, go to the File Menu, and select “Download As”. – If you are a Microsoft Office user, you can download it as an...Read More →
Yesterday I wrote about how people do avoidant coping to avoid difficult thoughts and emotions getting triggered, or to escape from them once they are already occurring. I wrote that the first step to overcoming avoidant coping is nutting out the function of the avoidance i.e., which specific thoughts and emotions the avoidant coping is...Read More →
Sarah Sarah is a people-pleaser. When people ask her to do things or invite her places, never in a million years would it occur to her that she could say “no” even if she wanted to. Angela Angela never does anything for anyone. She sees herself as selfish and unlikable, and so she thinks “why...Read More →
Let’s think about a bear. A bear hibernates in winter to avoid the dangers of winter. Humans have evolved a similar mechanism. Sometimes when we sense a threat, our bodies respond by making us want to sleep a lot. This mechanism is based on the idea that if there is a threat, it might be...Read More →
This tip follows on from Friday's An Alternative to Willpower. I want to make sure I've explained the underlying principle really clearly.
You can create subtle changes in your behavior by...
Changing the external cues you encounter in your daily life, in a way that increases the probability of you doing the behavior you want to...Read More →
I'm currently doing a personal project of trying 30 new things in 30 days. The (short) story of how I got started with this project is a great example of why using willpower alone sucks as a self regulation strategy & how to use an alternative strategy. I had been thinking for AGES that trying some new...Read More →
Something you can easily try today... When you kiss your partner goodbye at the start of the day, or kiss them hello at the end of the day, linger a little bit longer with the kiss. Kiss them for 1-2 seconds longer than usual. ...Read More →