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    29 2012 November

    CBT: How Checking Contributes to Mental Health Problems (Eating Disorders, Depression, Anxiety)

    Although common ‘disorders’ (e.g., eating disorders, anxiety, and depression) look different on the surface, there are some common underlying mechanisms. One of these is checking. I’m going to go explain the role of checking in...

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    10 2012 October

    7 Tips for Not Personalizing

    1. Don’t catastrophize knock backs – If you get a rejection, it doesn’t mean you’re never going to be successful. – If you get negative feedback on a piece of work, it doesn’t mean you...

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    02 2012 October

    5 Tips for Irritability

    1. Do some kind of mindfulness practice. Try this or any of these. Learn enough about the philosophy of mindfulness meditation that you know what you’re doing. Since most people won’t want to do formal...

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    26 2012 September

    Changing Your Cognitive Style

    I mentioned on FB yesterday how much my cognitive style has changed as a result of my psychology training. One of the readers asked me to say more about how it had changed, so here’s...

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    27 2012 June

    10 Practical Tips for Avoiding Winter Weight Gain

    This is for my kiwi readers – it’s freezing here at the moment! I got the idea to write this from an interview I did for the NZ Herald about weight gain during winter. 1....

15 2011 August
By alice
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The Why? Behind Avoidant Coping (less than 400 words)

Sarah Sarah is a people-pleaser. When people ask her to do things or invite her places, never in a million years would it occur to her that she could say “no” even if she wanted to. Angela Angela never does anything for anyone. She sees herself as selfish and unlikable, and so she thinks “why...

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10 2011 August
By alice
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Fatigue and Avoidance (under 400 words)

Let’s think about a bear. A bear hibernates in winter to avoid the dangers of winter. Humans have evolved a similar mechanism. Sometimes when we sense a threat, our bodies respond by making us want to sleep a lot. This mechanism is based on the idea that if there is a threat, it might be...

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09 2011 August
By alice
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1 Min Behaviour Change Tip

This tip follows on from Friday's An Alternative to Willpower. I want to make sure I've explained the underlying principle really clearly.

You can create subtle changes in your behavior by...

Changing the external cues you encounter in your daily life, in a way that increases the probability of you doing the behavior you want to...

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06 2011 August
By alice
0 Comments

An Alternative to Willpower (350 words)

I'm currently doing a personal project of trying 30 new things in 30 days. The (short) story of how I got started with this project is a great example of why using willpower alone sucks as a self regulation strategy & how to use an alternative strategy. I had been thinking for AGES that trying some new...

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05 2011 August
By alice
0 Comments

1 Minute Procrastination Tip.

Try this 1 min tip next time you notice yourself procrastinating about something important....

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05 2011 August
By alice
0 Comments

1 Minute Relationship Enhancement: Tip for Aug 4, 2011.

Something you can easily try today... When you kiss your partner goodbye at the start of the day, or kiss them hello at the end of the day, linger a little bit longer with the kiss. Kiss them for 1-2 seconds longer than usual. ...

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04 2011 August
By alice
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Rumination

Rumination = the tendency to respond to distress by repetitively (and passively) focusing on the causes and consequences of your problems, without moving to active problem solving. Here's two questions I find help me: When I notice myself ruminating, in a very gentle & kind tone, I ask myself..... ...

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03 2011 August
By alice
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Keepin' The Lovin' Feelin'

Almost all of you reading this will have had an experience of having been in a romantic relationship that got less happy as time went on. What goes wrong? “When marriages fail, it is not increasing conflict that is the cause. It is decreasing affection and emotional responsiveness, according to a landmark study by Ted...

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01 2011 August
By alice
5 Comments

Self Worth

I thought I’d do something I haven’t done before – open a post up for comments. This is my version of an exercise from Dr Kristin Neff’s book. The exercise is for helping you reduce the extent to which your feelings of self worth are contingent on being superior to others. Or, as Kristin puts...

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29 2011 July
By alice
0 Comments

Trust in Relationships

What’s at the root of your argument? Relationship arguments tend to be fundamentally about versions of the question “Can I rely on you?” Examples 1. Can I rely on you to comfort me effectively when I need it? 2. Can I rely on you to support my exploration in the world? 3. Can I rely...

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