Another surprisingly effective, fill-in-the-blanks, Relationship Communication Skills Tip for men and women.
Request > then > State the benefit to the other person of doing what you want.
If you listen to me complain about work for a few mins without offering problem solving solutions, I will feel like you are being really supportive.
If you listen to me complain about work for a few mins without offering problem solving solutions, I will be able to switch into at-home mode and we can have a relaxed evening without talking about it more.
If you pick Matty up from soccer, I will have time to think about something nice to wear to the party.
Why This Works
– This doesn’t guarantee you will get what you want but increases the probability.
– Even when the person says No, using this format can reduce tension around making requests of each other. For this to be the case, it’s good to respect the other person’s No if they do say no. This format is less likely to provoke irritation in your partner compared to other ways of making a request.
This tip is from a therapy called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT).
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