Relationships

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How to Improve a Relationship: 1 Minute Tip.

September 14, 2011 | 1 Comments

When people think about how to improve a relationship, they typically think about how to decrease negative thoughts, emotions, and interactions. But, increasing positive thoughts, emotions and interactions, is at least as important for improving...

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Something you can easily try today... When you kiss your partner goodbye at the start of the day, or kiss them hello at the end of the day, linger a little bit longer with the kiss....

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Keepin' The Lovin' Feelin'

August 3, 2011 | 0 Comments

Almost all of you reading this will have had an experience of having been in a romantic relationship that got less happy as time went on. What goes wrong? “When marriages fail, it is not...

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Trust in Relationships

July 29, 2011 | 0 Comments

What’s at the root of your argument? Relationship arguments tend to be fundamentally about versions of the question “Can I rely on you?” Examples 1. Can I rely on you to comfort me effectively when...

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Getting Back That Lovin' Feelin'

July 24, 2011 | 0 Comments

Have you ever wondered why couples talk baby talk to each other? Its because evolution didn’t create a new system for bonding partners together, it just borrowed the system for bonding parents and children. That’s...

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View pdf here (It’s a diagram)....

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Here are some questions you can ask yourself if you are feeling anxious about an upcoming social interaction. Let’s for example imagine you want to ask someone out on a date. Question 1: What do...

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Raw Spots – (Personal) Example

May 5, 2011 | 0 Comments

I’ve shared this example with a couple of clients to help illustrate the concept of raw spots, and the usefulness of developing an awareness of them. So, I thought why not post it here. A...

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Something you can easily try today Make a positive comment about one of your partner’s friends. Why? – It says “I’m tuned in to your life.” – It says “I understand what you get out...

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What Is It Like For You When…?

January 20, 2011 | 0 Comments

The therapies I use are mostly “present-orientated” problem solving therapies rather than being “past-orientated’ but here’s a question to ponder about how your childhood experiences might affect your adult experiences. Think about something that was...

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