What Is It Like For You When…?

By Alice Boyes, PhD. | Uncategorized

The therapies I use are mostly “present-orientated” problem solving therapies rather than being “past-orientated’ but here’s a question to ponder about how your childhood experiences might affect your adult experiences.

Think about something that was hard for you as a child. You might particularly think about the relationship you had with your parents when you were a kid.

For example, it might’ve been hard for you

– when you felt anxious but other people didn’t understand how to be helpful and they got angry
– when you wanted to be liked and be close to someone but couldn’t figure out how to get that to happen
– when other people did not seem interested in you

Next, think about how it is when those things happen now? For example, when someone gets angry when you are anxious or when someone teases you. Do you have a big reaction? Is the strength of your reaction related to having a raw spot left over from childhood?

Can you learn to cut the people in your current life some slack by recognizing when you are reacting both to something in the present and something from the past?

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