3 Easy Types of Validation: Easy Relationships Communication Skills Tips for Couples #2

By Alice Boyes, PhD. | Uncategorized

Easy Relationships Communication Skills Every Couple Should Have in Their Tool Kit

3 Easy Types of Validation to help your relationship communication run more smoothly.

Type 1. Validate then Request.

Example

“I can see you’re tired from work, but would you help me with… sometime tonight.”

Type 2. Validate Before Saying No.

Example – General form

“I know you really want me to (do what you want) but I’m not going to. Where should be go from here?”

Example – Specific

“I know you really want me to go for a walk tonight but I’m not going to because I want to watch TV. Sorry darling.”

Type 3. Validate the Validator.

If your partner has been listening to you (especially if listening to you is a bit of hard work!) or has done something else supportive, validate them for doing so.

Examples

“Thanks for listening to me complain about work. I know its not fun to listen to, but I appreciate you being supportive.” (+ Kiss ’em)

or

“Thanks for listening to me talk about (topic s/he is not interested in). I know you’re not that interested in it, but I appreciate you listening.”

Validate the Validator is a tip from Robert Leahy.

Read More Easy Relationship Communication Skills Tips for Couples

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